When What I Want Isn't What God Wants

Giving up control is hard. One of the hardest things I have had to learn in my walk with God is knowing when to give up control and listen to His calling for me.

I like having a plan. I like knowing where I am going, what is next and how it will all play out. I find comfort in it, but when I feel comfortable in my own plan, that's usually when I feel furthest from God.

When I was in college, I had a plan. I wanted to graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Mass Communication with minors in Journalism and Broadcasting. Which I did. But it was what came after college that I had a set plan. I wanted to move to Connecticut, get my Master's in Sport Communication and start working my way to becoming a rink-side reporter in the NHL. There was not a single person who could talk me out of this plan. Except for one. God.

I remember exactly how it happened and where I was. I had been emailing back and forth with my assigned advisor at Quinnipiac University about visiting, touring the campus, and meeting my professors. That very weekend I was emailing with her, I attended a Women's Shine Conference in my hometown. It was in the middle of opening worship when I felt an overwhelming need to use the gifts God gave me to do Kingdom work. My attention was completely focused on that feeling and worshipping God with all I had.

After the conference was over, even though I felt God calling me to change my future plans and consider a different path, I continued emailing my advisor and moving forward with plans for my trip. But I didn't feel the same joy and excitement I once felt when thinking about pursuing my master's degree. Instead, every time I thought about college, it all seemed pointless.

The only thing that helped me through that season was growing closer to God and allowing Him to lead my heart. I kept going back to that moment during worship when I felt Him telling me that sports reporting wasn't the future He had planned for me. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I couldn't shake the feeling that God was leading me in a different direction.

So I prayed. The following week, I reached out to my advisor and told her that I would not be attending the spring semester. The moment I pressed send on that email, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. It wasn't because I suddenly had all the answers, it was because I finally trusted God enough to surrender my plans and follow His.

A month later, I began working for Dear Heart, where I have the opportunity to use the gifts God has given me and be part of something truly special. Looking back now, I can see that what felt like giving up my plans was really God guiding me into His.

It was hard giving up what I wanted my future to be. But I soon found peace in knowing that God changed my plans for the better. God has a way of reminding us that our lives were never ours to determine. Sometimes the things we want most are not what He has planned for us.

And when His plan differs from ours, we face a choice: hold on to our own plans and miss out on what He has for us, or trust in Him because He sees the bigger picture.

Giving up control isn't easy. It requires surrender, patience and complete faith in Him. it means admitting to ourselves that His understanding is far greater than ours. Even when His plan doesn't make sense to us, He knows better.

I've discovered that some of God's greatest blessings come when I stop trying to control every outcome and start listening for His voice.

As difficult as it can be to let go of our own plans, there is freedom in trusting God's.  Yet God sees the full picture while we can see only a small part. When we choose to surrender control and listen for His voice, we are placing our lives in the hands of a loving Father who knows exactly what we need. My prayer is that you would have the courage to release your grip on your own expectations and trust that God's will is not only good, but far greater than anything you could ever plan for yourselves.

Quiet Time Questions 💬

• Am I truly listening for God's guidance, or am I only looking for confirmation of what I already want?
• Is there an area of my life where I sense God leading me in a different direction than I planned?
• Is there anything God is asking me to release, leave behind or rethink?
• What is one practical step I can take this week to surrender control and follow where God is leading?
• How has God been speaking to me recently through Scripture, prayer, circumstances or other people?